My Fitness Pal – No Really…

So, I’ve been struggling the past two years or so to keep my weight in order, and as a result gained 35 pounds. (Started at 185 when I started gaining and hit 220 before I finally turned around and headed in the other direction. That is thirty five, right? Suck it, Math! I’m a writer not John Nash!)

Anyway, I was signed up with a personal trainer two days a week, was trying the new weight watchers, the old weight watchers, just to try to get my momentum and my mojo back. For some reason, I just could not get my head around the idea that if I chose to eat that massive piece of cake at ten at night, that I would effing regret it.

All that having been said, I recently discovered the savior that I will blame for any and all success I’ve recently had. (Down from 220 to 208.2. This is progress ladies and gentlemen. The random lady in JCPenney told me so when she overheard me mention the twelve pound loss, so it MUST be true!)

The savior, the thing that I’ve been holding myself accountable to the past few weeks is MyFitnessPal.com. Yeah, there are tons of weight loss sites online that you can indulge in and meander through, and believe me, I’ve signed up for and forgotten about all of them. Yet, MyFitnessPal keeps me coming back. I can tell you exactly why…

Now, to compare it first in the manners it can be compared to other sites is tedious, but it must be done.

First, you enter in your information -height, weight, age, the amount of pounds you want to lose each week. With this info, it gives you your daily caloric goal. Keep to it and you’ll start losing.

On top of this goal it adds a water intake amount and an amount of exercise it thinks you should be getting each week as well, as well as a weigh in option. This helps with accountability, and healthy tendencies.

Then, once you get going, you can search any food in their database from the web, from a smartphone, add it to your daily journal and it keeps track of the leftover calories you have to devour. You punch in food you eat, exercise you do (from walking leisurely to kickboxing, it’s all in there), and you’re on your way, right?

Wrong. Here’s where MyFitnessPal grabbed me by the jugular!

At the end of the day, when you’ve eaten all you’re going to, when you’ve worked out all you plan to, you press the handy dandy “COMPLETE ENTRY” button.

In response, it says something along these lines…

If every day were like today…  You’d weigh             189.0 lbs       in 5 weeks

I was freakin sold! That right there is what I call moti-freakin-vation! Telling me how much I’ll weigh if I keep it up? Seriously? That’s freakin genius! Not only that, but if you don’t like the outcome, you can add a quick twenty minute walk to your journal, press the button again and see the difference!

That difference is what makes you get up off the couch. That difference is what makes you finsih your journal everyday. That difference is why in an hour I am going to be doing the Kickboxing On Demand video for 40 minutes, followed by 30 minutes of Dance Central.

Hell yeah, I’m a skinny bitch!

 

Kickin Ass!

Current Weight: 208.2

Current Level of Muffin Top in my Size 14 Jeans: NONE!! And I’m not even wearing Spanx, ladies and gentlemen!

Though, to be honest I have been 208.2 for two days in a row without further loss (despite working out yesterday), I’m still just gonna say it -

I’m the skinniest bitch in town!

Well, the skinniest bitch who happens to also weigh 208.2 pounds, but that’s all relative people, let’s focus on the joy, shall we? I have been fighting to pass 210 for ten months. I STARTED at 210 and then gained ten pounds over the course of six months and took another three to lose it again, but to have surpassed it and stayed there since, it is a big deal. I’m motivated now having seen this new number and I want to keep it up.

So the daily workouts, the eating right, the being meticulous about filling out my eating diary on myfitnesspal.com every single day… it’s working. Let’s keep it up, you say? Good thought!

 

Counter Productive

Current Weight: 211

Current Level of Muffin Top in my Size 14 Jeans: I’m wearing Spanx, so the Flabbalanche is contained thoroughly. AND I’m wearing size 14, which is a triumph, even if they are from Old Navy.

If one eats cake for breakfast, one shouldn’t be thoroughly disgusted with oneself, should they?

I don’t know. And technically, it is lunch, but it is in fact the first thing I’ve eaten today. Still, if I work out, maybe go for a walk, maybe eat like a rabbit the rest of the day it won’t be too bad, right?

OH! OH! And it was diet! The cake was made with a can of DIET Cream Soda instead of eggs and oil. By golly, I CAN have cake for breakfast! And no one can tell me otherwise!

(Please don’t inform my personal trainer, she might, in fact, claim she can tell me otherwise…)

 

Greatest Snack Ever, or GREATEST Snack Ever?

Popcorn, Indiana recently hit my culinary map by producing the most addictive and delicious (and pointsplus friendly) Kettlecorn on the planet. I bought massive bags at Costco and praised the Lord.

Until…

The local Costco decided to carry a huge display of what they called BLACK AND WHITE Drizzled Kettlecorn. Naturally, we bought a bag, given that Popcorn, Indiana had proven themselves reliable in the taste department.

Oh good grief, were we led astray.

This Black and White Popcorn isn’t just delicious, it’s crack. I swear to you, I have NEVER been so addicted to anything in my life as I am to this popcorn. It is so unbelievably good, and at cost of 3-4 points plus in Weight Watchers for 1.5 cups, it is entirely reasonable to knock back on a daily basis.

I have, and do. Though, as of the last trip to Costco, they are officially all out of this manna from heaven. I fear I might never find it again, despite the unbelievable popularity it seems to have. (When I went to Costco JUST TO BUY IT, there was a single bag in the place in the back of the regular kettlecorn display. I climbed the opposite side of the aisle in order to retrieve it.)

Think a little mountain climbing can deter me? You’re wrong!

So, my point…get some of this, and thank me later.

 

We Like Round Figures

And by round figures, I mean even double digit numbers – like 10!

Officially down 10 lbs. as of this morning. Woohoo!

Please address all your congratulatory fruit baskets to Skinny Bitch, thank you very much.

Now, in order to keep the momentum going, we’re going to go ahead and play Dance Central, given that the world outside is newly covered in panic inducing snow (well, everywhere else in the country. Here they only just decided to close my college for the day at 2PM. It’s been snowing since before sunrise. We’re baller).

 

New Weight Watchers PointsPlus – But I Don’t Like Change

Despite my absence from this blog (having gained thirty pounds and then pleasantly sat there at that weight like a bird too heavy for the wire didn’t really inspire bloggage) I have returned with a fury (and a bowl of Special K cereal in front of me while I type. It’s kinda in the way, but whatever!)

As many people decided in a moment of well meaning, my New Year’s Resolution (one of seven) is to be a size 6/8. I’m currently teetering between a 14 and an ‘I don’t even know what.’ (The problem with vanity sizing, you never actually know your size.)

Well, to celebrate and embrace this Resolution of mine, I started pointing again. Having had success on it before (I lost 100lbs four years ago, and a large percentage of that weight loss was while on WW) and maintained the loss for three years despite never actually making it all the way to my goal weight. Then after three years I decided to eat like a jackass and do it for a long time. Over a year I gained back thirty. Ok, let’s be honest, thirty five. WHATEVER! The point is, I’m ready for the final push. It’s time.

Now, to discuss the new Weight Watchers program. Many people who have done Weight Watchers, memorize the plan and then go their merry way with it, keeping to the points systems and their favorite foods. There’s nothing wrong with that (unless you’re weight watchers, then I’m sure they see a problem with you not paying them, but bah humbug to that!), but the new program comes from a whole different perspective. Instead of factoring calories into their point calculations, there is now NO caloric info required for PointsPlus calculating. Now, instead of eating junk food all day and still losing weight because you only ate 25 points worth of junk food, you’re actually factoring in the nutritional benefits (or lacktherof) of what you’re gnoshing on. This is brilliant in my opinion.

Not all calories are created equal, as they say!

So, to anyone who is opposed to the change that Weight Watchers has made, I can honestly say I understand your dilemma. Why change something that works? Well, because it has the capacity to work better.

- Four pounds better.

 

Diet Soda Cake – A Science Experiment

Well, having gained somewhere between 15 – 20 lbs this past year, I’m trying my damnedest to get back into the swing of being awesome and slender. One of the gravest enemies of that pursuit…the cake. Oh yes, give me a bit of cake, I say.

Now, given that a properly prepared boxed cake with icing will set you back somewhere around 500 calories a slice, I wanted to find a way to overcome that deterrent and gorge myself with a little less junk in the trunk.

Hence the SCIENCE EXPERIMENT CAKE!

We are currently baking a Funfetti Cake Mix from Pillsbury with a can of Diet Schweppes Ginger Ale. I will be dousing it in Strawberry frosting and shooting a picture of it when it is done (to be posted here) and I will tell you just how worthwhile it is to find a lower calorie version of Cake in my face.

Like a bit of Cake?

 

Two Days, No Excuses

Well, having made the ultimate decision to be good to myself once again, I have been eating well, taking care of business, as well cooking all healthy delicious meals and eating them all before 6PM. So, explain to me then, how is it that I am hungry as we speak, yet when I weighed myself this morning, I had gained weight.

Gained weight two days in a row.

It’s infuriating. Truly infuriating.

BUT! It is not going to deter me from my course of infinite awesomeness. I now understand those moments on the Biggest Loser when contestants get up there and lose nothing at all with a look of shock on their faces. It really doesn’t make sense to me in the slightest, but it does happen. You just have to keep going.

And it is my birthday. Now, we must incorporate cake into our day for the good of mankind. If eating cake makes me lose weight tomorrow, finally, believe me…I will share that information with the world. For sure!

 

I Drink My Words…

Schweppes, the magical deliciousness that is one of the two major Ginger Ale, er…brewers in the country have officially shown me the error of my ways.

This…is delicious.

Perhaps I found the generic brand of swill I tried previously to be heinous and beyond foul, and perhaps my first couple sips of this stuff weren’t by any means the stuff of legends, but after a few days, a few cans, and few desperate pleas for carbonated beverage that doesn’t taste like a spoonful of sweetener, this stuff is dreamy. Delightful.

I just chugged a can and belched satisfactorily after a bowlful of my delicious Turkey Chili (recipe to follow shortly) and knew it to be good, like the lord on the seventh day.

Sure, sodium high carbonated beverages aren’t as good for your diet as water, by any means, but when I need a chili chaser, I will gladly swish one of these bad mamma jammas!

Thank you Schweppes! You got it right!

 

All Work and No Play…

Let’s get down to it, shall we?

I kicked my freaking backside today. With malice, derision and folly, I got up BEFORE the buttcrack of noon to go to the gym, take a Group Groove class (which one of my oldest friends teaches) and annihilate myself in the name of inspiring lust in my partner and really, just to feel less giggly. Lust is an automatic side effect of my being so freaking AWESOME!

So after the hour long ass kicking to the Bollywood meets Flashdance soundtrack, I decided, “That just ain’t good enough, Caitlin.” So in the name of my thighs and science, I took to the machines.

The Precor Treadmill, a worthy foe whose name sounds like a strange species on Star Trek, but I digress, has been doing business with me for a year or more now. Put this thing at a high incline and you’ll kick your ass like your jogging in quicksand. Seriously, you try climbing a mountain at a constant pace. Not gonna happen, naysayer!

I was content to pay my dues to the hamster track, but my gym rat friend knew of a dark beast in need of taming. Dare me to do something, we all know what happens.

That’s when I climbed atop:

The Hate Beast

(Also known as the Precor Hybrid Elliptical Trainer)

I’m pretty sure this thing eats babies.

This bad mamma jamma was all sorts of confusing and awkward at first. Then the awkward gave way to pain. Delicious-I-should-be-doing-this-everyday-pain.

We were cooking with gas, people.

When I finally went home a drenched mess, I’d worked out for just over two hours…voluntarily. I feel like Linda Hamilton already.

Now, what I learned from this experience is the following:

High incline treadmill is effective, the hybrid is effective. They both kick your butt to the tune of up to, if not over 1000 calories per hour (if you enter in your sordid details, like weight and age, then play with the speed and such until you’re sated), without having to brutally kill yourself after being chased by pygmy natives.

I’m pro the whole idea of avoiding those pygmy natives.